"Diving Into the Wreck"
The poem by Adrienne Rich, "Diving into the Wreck", resonates so clearly to me now in this phase of my life. It has been months since my heart was broken, and on Friday last, I finally acknowledged that I was heart broken. For some reason, I have equated being sad over love lost as a weakness that I must hide. So, I thought I was just fine, when the dishes were piling up, the laundry was over flowing my basket and the dust was collecting in wisps around the apartment. Friday I cried my eyes out and allowed myself to finally be sad about love lost. And Saturday, I cleaned up the wreck. My wood floors shine from all the polishing.
I'm still diving into myself. Where did I make up that loving and loosing was weak rather than brave?
World Girl
I'm still diving into myself. Where did I make up that loving and loosing was weak rather than brave?
World Girl
posted by World Girl at 10:59 AM
2 Comments:
Two comments if I may. First, speaking as someone with more emotional problems than a computer could count, allow me to state nothing I say should or could be taken as advice. All I offer is experience. If it rings true for you, great, and if it doesn't it's no hair off my already balding head.
I spent a long time in depression and didn't realize it until it was almost too late. But from what good I can take from the experiences I've had, I can state that it is alright to mourn the loss of love. These days many people take pills to get over depression rather than try to figure out and deal with the cause of what makes them sad. I prefer to know what makes me tick and handle problems in my way.
The other thing I know is that love... if it actually is love... isn't something you "get over", at least not the way I hear it defined. Just as we don't consciously choose who we love, we also don't get to suddenly not be in love anymore. The true test of true love is the passage of time. No amount of hurt, anger, or sadness makes love go away. But what allows people to go on is the realization that we can love again. It's never the same, but sometimes it's better.
At least that's what I hope.
And there's no reason it has to go away... It can be painful at times to continue to care, but it can also feel good to feel something about someone else.
I'm not convinced you do really stop loving people. I think it may lessen over time, but I think love is different each time around, one of the reasons it's so great.
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