Woman Seeks Man with Spine
Tonight I drove from Olympia to Seattle, a span of 64 miles. As I passed along the I5 corridor, past Fort Lewis, Tacoma, Wild Waves Enchanted Park, the turn off for the Seatac Airport, all the way to Fremont, I couldn't help but fume.
I mean, the sky was all lit with brilliant moonlight and the air smells good after the rains. And all I could think about is that men no longer do their jobs.
I, for one and I think I speak for most women when I say this, am sick of doing a man's job. I'm sick of putting out the right signals, getting the ball rolling and being careful of his ego and time, all so that something as simple as a date can happen. I can't tell you how many times I have casually said to a man I thought was cute, "Hey, want to go do something (music, movie, dinner, coffee) and be met with first a stunned, wide-eyed look, followed by a stammer of, "Really? Sure. Yeah, when would you like to go?" I've even misunderstood these looks as lack of interest in me only to have the man follow up on what I said. Isn't it against the rules for me to be doing the asking? Yet, there I am and there they are.
I mean, what happened to men knowing what they want? What happened to them going after what they want? Why are men, more and more, living in pansyland?
I'm sure men will say it is women's fault, that we've emasculated them. To that, I say BULL! Every single human being on this earth has free will and choice.
OK. So this rant is turning into a plea. Men, if you're out there and you're wondering what it is women want, we want you to be self-confident, because we are just dying to be given the opportunity to know you. STOP hiding out in your nooks and crannies. Emerge, grab us by the back of the head and say, "You, me, Friday night". Please???????? If you keep playing the role of J. Alfred Prufrock (worm on a hook routine), we'll never get the chance to love you.
Alas, what comes to mind is the following quote from a song.....
"just lay yourself on the line and I might lay myself down by you but don't sit behind your eyes and wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who can make me scream until it's funny give me a run for my money
I want someone who can twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything what have you got?
I want someone who's not afraid of me or anyone else in other words I want someone who's not afraid of himself
do you think I'm asking too much?" Ani DiFranco, Asking Too Much
In this day and age, probably.
World Girl
I mean, the sky was all lit with brilliant moonlight and the air smells good after the rains. And all I could think about is that men no longer do their jobs.
I, for one and I think I speak for most women when I say this, am sick of doing a man's job. I'm sick of putting out the right signals, getting the ball rolling and being careful of his ego and time, all so that something as simple as a date can happen. I can't tell you how many times I have casually said to a man I thought was cute, "Hey, want to go do something (music, movie, dinner, coffee) and be met with first a stunned, wide-eyed look, followed by a stammer of, "Really? Sure. Yeah, when would you like to go?" I've even misunderstood these looks as lack of interest in me only to have the man follow up on what I said. Isn't it against the rules for me to be doing the asking? Yet, there I am and there they are.
I mean, what happened to men knowing what they want? What happened to them going after what they want? Why are men, more and more, living in pansyland?
I'm sure men will say it is women's fault, that we've emasculated them. To that, I say BULL! Every single human being on this earth has free will and choice.
OK. So this rant is turning into a plea. Men, if you're out there and you're wondering what it is women want, we want you to be self-confident, because we are just dying to be given the opportunity to know you. STOP hiding out in your nooks and crannies. Emerge, grab us by the back of the head and say, "You, me, Friday night". Please???????? If you keep playing the role of J. Alfred Prufrock (worm on a hook routine), we'll never get the chance to love you.
Alas, what comes to mind is the following quote from a song.....
"just lay yourself on the line and I might lay myself down by you but don't sit behind your eyes and wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who can make me scream until it's funny give me a run for my money
I want someone who can twist me up in knots
tell me, for the woman who has everything what have you got?
I want someone who's not afraid of me or anyone else in other words I want someone who's not afraid of himself
do you think I'm asking too much?" Ani DiFranco, Asking Too Much
In this day and age, probably.
World Girl
posted by World Girl at 10:23 PM
5 Comments:
You know? You women really aren't making it very easy. Granted, I'm no longer in the game, and when I was, it was ages ago.
But seriously. Everything is this complicated puzzle and often it doesn't follow the rules of logic as we guys believe them to be.
Granted, the media doesn't help either, presenting unreasonable images which give men a really invalid impression of what a woman is all about and does much to beat down and destroy the self-esteem and feeling of self-worth of many real women.
But, I think the obverse is true, too. I don't think that women really try to figure out what a guy is looking for. Some would contend that this is contradictory are complicated, but guys want three things.
(1) To not be made to think. Sublety is the enemy of men. I know you women think it's cute. It's not. It's frigging annoying.
(2) To be made to feel valued, encouraged. Their opinion, the ability to provide and protect, the empowerment to make decisions that won't be second-guessed.
(3) Ultimately, a partnership of support. Valid, valuable communication allows both people to recognize and build on the strengths of the other to come up with a sum far greater than the parts.
(4) To feel like we're in control. Ok, we never really are, but there are things you can do to let us believe that we are.
(5) No change. We don't want to be changed, made better. We are who we are. Done correctly, we'll let you help us be better versions of ourselves, as long as it doesn't feel like we're being asked to change. If you think I look good in plaid and I say no, let it go, even if you love it. I might eventually come around, but if I don't, it becomes berating instead of constructive and building up.
But I'll say the same thing I always say. Stop looking. Let it find you. I have a longer bit of supporting statements for that but I'm too lazy to type them right now.
James, I think the problem for me is I've made it too easy. I've been too understanding, too obliging, and too open. For all you say in women not making it easy, I'm on the other end pulling my hair out. And I have pretty hair. I think men like to be annoyed by subtlety. I think they like to be tormented. All those things you said men want, I actually want in a partner. I want a guy who has the guts to say 'no' to things he doesn't like, that he wants me to value him as a man and a partner and that he doesn't brush it off, because he's not feeling up to it, and I really ,really, really, would love open, straight-forward, no bullshit communication. God, give me a man like that and I'll loose my heart forever. :)
As for not looking....well, there's nothing like the thrill of pursuit....Sadly, I know you're right. When I stop wanting the relationship of my dreams so bad, then it will most likely show itself.
Anyway, I value your comments. That's not meant to be a joke. :)
Question. Is your picture a live-feed? Sometimes you're in the chair, and sometimes you're not.
It's a semi-live feed. When I'm not there it's because I've escaped. When the picture doesn't change for days, it's because they've turned off the lights and left me to sit in the dark.
Two thoughts... there's a difference between being easy and being approachable. Often times, the approach is difficult for the guy, or for whatever reason, he feels that he shouldn't approach despite what you might think are obvious signs.
Secondly, there's a difference between a search and a pursuit. It's been my e_perience (broken keyboard) that one is the most attractive to/noticed by the opposite se_ when the rest of their life is going well. They have a different air about them. Ironically(sp?) sometimes you feel so great about everything else that you then cannot imagine adding a relationship into the fold.
But I've even noticed it when I was dating someone and now that I'm married. Women look at me different. Like they can sense the peace I have about that aspect of my life. I haven't dated much, but every single time I've found love it's actually been when it found me.
Please do not misinterpret what I said about being "easy". I may be flexible to make a relationship work, but I have self-respect.
As for liking yourself and the world liking you back: natch. Too, true.
Humans are animal. Semantically, I like the word pursuit versus search. It fits. Tough nails to you. :) Hugs, to you too, cause I don't want argue with you. This probably has something to do with politics, but I'm too lazy to make the connection. :) ha ha ha.
I didn't reali_e (did I mention Rachel broke the keyboard when she barfed on it?) anyhow, I didn't reali_e we were arguing. (I did wonder if the meaning of the word "easy" would be called into question... I figured I'd leave it alone and laugh later.)
There's another side to the equation that probably works towards your argument... lousy parents not kicking the kid out at 18, but allowing him to continue living there playing Playstation and not being hardened by the real world.
There's your spineless guys... I guess if you have to look, then it becomes a question of where...
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